If you have been fighting with your partner a lot lately, you may be wondering if this is relationship is right for you. Rightly so. Certainly if you are worried about your safety or sanity, then it may be very important to get away as soon as possible. Most people, however, experience bickering and a lessening degree of satisfaction over time. Here are some considerations to look at in order to evaluate if the good aspects of your relationship can be expanded on or saved.
1. You still have fun times and can laugh together.
Sharing joy and finding humor in everyday life together is a quality worth keeping. If you can work on the triggers that dispel the fun, you have a lot worth investing in.
2. You have taken a good long look at yourself in the mirror.
If you are at a place where you aren’t sure if this relationship is worth saving, ask yourself if you’ve examined your part of the equation. Do you know what you bring into the relationship? Do you know what your triggers are? Are you able to own them and ask for what you need? Is it possible that you are displacing anger from another part of your life?
3. You’ve seen these relationship issues before.
If you are noticing a pattern with past relational issues being repeated with your current partner, then it may be a good indication that you will repeat them again. Now is a great time to go deeper and work with your partner if he or she is willing, in order to break these patterns.
4. Your partner is willing to look at his or her part.
Truly a gift in any relationship, if you have a partner that is willing to look at what they bring to the dynamic and is willing to take ownership of it, then there is a ton of potential for intimacy and growth.
5. You share the same core values.
Sometimes a healthy set of differences can bring excitement and interest to relationships. However, when you boil it down, if you basically have the same principles and focus for life, then there is a lot to build on.
6. You are both willing to explore your individual needs and hopes separately and for the relationship.What are your needs and hopes day to day? What is your long term vision for yourself and your partnership? Can you talk about this together?
7. You are both willing to get outside help with navigating repetitive issues.
Lastly, if there are repetitive issues that keep coming up and you cannot seem to find your way through the trees on your own, are both of you willing to get some outside support? Usually the willingness of a partner to have a third party help shine a light into your relationship means that the relationship means a lot to him/ her. If nothing else, perhaps you can gain some clarity on if the positive aspects of your connection can be rekindled, expanded, and the relationship preserved.
