What sets off your emotional trigger?

What is it about certain situations that make you want to revolt or run away?

It is very common that most of us, at some point, have felt like fighting back or running from an intimate partner.

You may begin to recognize particular patterns in your emotions and relationships, but might not understand why they happen, or what you can do to change them.

What is the reason why negative relational patterns seem to repeat?

In the early process of development, your brain is forming concepts about the world and the way things work. Parents, caretakers, family, and friends often shape much of the physical and emotional environment you grow up in.

In the process of learning we often borrow thoughts, ideas, and behaviors according to what is provided. We also need to adapt to our environment in order to survive. Negative messages and experience, from subtle to abusive or neglectful, often tear down self-esteem, and may contribute to the feeling of wanting to lash out or run away.

The emotional pain that results from this negative messages and experience, even if unconscious, can cause your body to restrict the natural flow of energy and become very tense. This tension is pushed deeper into your cellular memory system, and can create a negative feedback loop, or pain pattern, that gets triggered in current relationships.

Somatic cues that indicate an emotional trigger include a shortness of breath, tightness in the chest or stomach, racing heartbeat, or sweaty palms. Every response is unique to the individual. Sometimes the response can just be felt as a numb or tingling sensation, or the feeling of floating away.

Whatever your somatic cue, the more you become aware of it the quicker you will be able to respond and investigate your own response. The more you can approach somatic cues and strong emotional reactions with curiosity, the more likely you will be able to change it.

Identifying that you are triggered, and that the intensity of the emotion is most likely coming from a memory, will help to calm the part of you that has been set off. Connecting to your needs and asking for support is also a step in the right direction. For more information on cellular memory trauma processing, click here.

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