I’ve been doing psychotherapy and somatic emotional release work for quite some time now, and I can honestly say that most people aren’t that interested in examining the past. You may think…”Why spend time ruminating over something that is gone, and how will that really help me move forward in my life today?” You’re not alone. Most people I encounter are forward thinkers. They just want to get past whatever block or problem that is cropping up in their lives so that they aren’t shackled to that experience or limitation anymore. The idea that coming to therapy to just talk about their childhood doesn’t appear to have a lot of relevance or helpfulness in the present.
Upon talking to a life coach recently she said to me, “I tell my clients that therapy is for working through your past, and coaching is handling your life moving forward.” Well, with that definition, why would anyone want to ever go to therapy again? The point is, if addressing the past doesn’t feel like it is going to do any immediate change with the present problem, then I wouldn’t be surprised that you wouldn’t want to spend your time or money rehashing it.
The thing is, I told this coach, is that the past is alive in the present. It is stored in the somatic emotional memory of the body/ nervous system. Most of the time it is dictating our beliefs, feelings, and decisions without us being aware of it’s influence. If you don’t have an opportunity to become conscious of the stored emotional pain, it most likely will recreate experiences that reinforce the subsequent believed limitations as reality. I’m talking about internal experiences that cause you to lash out angrily at others, or inhibit you from speaking your truth. I’m talking about the part of your brain that doesn’t have a clock–it just stores painful experience and resulting beliefs that were formulated to protect you, but most likely don’t have the same relevance today and are getting in the way to you leading a more carefree, joyful life.
So if you find yourself feeling flooded with sudden emotion that feels “bigger” than the triggering event, or just notice that you are hitting the same wall in work or relationships, then it just may be the activation of your somatic emotional memory coming into play.
And you are right if you are wondering how talking about the past could be enough to stop this part of your brain from firing. The short answer? It doesn’t. Regular psychotherapy helps soften the blow by bringing more awareness to what is causing the pain, and hopefully give you an opportunity to intercept it when it fires. Somatic emotional clearing, on the other hand (accessing memory stored in the nervous system that creates painful emotions and sensations in the body), has the potential to reprogram the neural pathways and heal the root of where the belief was formed. i.e. “I’m not safe,” “I’ll always be alone,” “I’m unloveable,” “It’s all my fault.” By clearing the tension in the nervous system while challenging the blocking belief, these limitations and reactions have the opportunity to resolve and transform.
and usually does not deeply change the pain pattern or limitation that has been so upsetting, even if it softens the “why me?” a bit.
